I got a huge gift from my business coach last month: a finite number of things to do. Like everyone else, I have a never-ending number of tasks and projects on my to-do list for both my personal life and my business. I get the necessary ones done when they are needed and tackle the others as time and space allow. That’s a practical approach and keeps progress going. But there’s a downside to doing it this way. I never feel finished. If you read my January 2022 blog, you know that this year I’m on a mission to add spaciousness to my life. When there’s no end in sight, that’s in direct conflict with spaciousness. My wise coach recognizes this and is helping me develop a new approach.
Being proud of yourself is important
She and I identified some top priorities for the next month, with specific tasks. And then she said that if I wanted to daydream about the characteristics of an upcoming priority, it would be okay. But under no circumstances should I actually work on that next priority. Taking her cue, the following week’s calendar had a limited number of tasks on it. The first day, I finished at 4:00. And I shut off my computer, took a short walk, and read a few chapters in a mystery I was in the middle of.
It was a really weird thing for me to be doing. Typically I’m at my computer until 6:00 or 6:30, doing whatever I can fit in. And I would feel unsatisfied because there were always more things to do. However, with a limited number of tasks to do, I felt like I’d really accomplished what I needed to do. It was a luxurious feeling – knowing everything was checked off. With my old system, I wasn’t really berating myself for not completing things – I knew the items on my calendar that didn’t get done could easily be accomplished on another day. But I didn’t feel proud of myself either, because I was never really “done”.
Know when you’re done for the day.
I realized I’d been setting myself up by having more on my list than I would ever reasonably get done. It was my way of not losing track of things and getting the most done each day. But getting the most done means I don’t have space for other things to come in. The lesson I got is that I’m not going to feel that spaciousness if I don’t have a clear cut-off. I didn’t really feel out of balance before but in retrospect, I can see that my days were really lopsided.
Where do you need balance in your life?
Maybe something similar is going on in your life. Are there areas where you never feel ahead of the game? Or where you feel you’re spending a disproportionate amount of time doing things for one aspect of your life, at the expense of other areas? Sometimes all you need to do is analyze what’s going on and figure out a solution. There may be other times when you may need to change a belief or two to give yourself permission to make those shifts. If that’s the case, I can help! Book a call and we can chat about it.
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