Beginnings and Endings

Beginnings and endings can cause lots of different reactions in people. What’s your reaction when something new is beginning? Is there excitement and anticipation? Or fear and resistance? Or maybe a combination of these and other emotions? And how about endings? Is there grief or relief? Possibly a reluctance to let something go, even if it wasn’t great, because it is familiar?

Where do these emotions come from?

We acquire most of our subconscious beliefs by the time we are around seven years old. These include how we feel about change. Some families encourage trying new things and others hold on to old patterns way past usefulness. But these responses aren’t usually conscious – they are often based on family reactions to change that have been in place for generations.

Sometimes there is fear.

Fear of the unknown, of not knowing how well we will navigate something new, is a spectrum. For some of us, it may even feel like excitement – just enough to get us pumped up for an adventure. For others, even the idea of failure can be paralyzing. For them, the unknown sparks terror because failure was not an option in their family. People are less likely to take risks if they are too attached to a successful outcome.

And what about endings?

We’ve all known someone (maybe ourselves) who clings to a situation or relationship that isn’t serving them well. Why don’t they just leave or stop or set better boundaries? It’s often not that easy. Familiar patterns, even uncomfortable or unsafe ones, have their own type of stability. You know how it’s going to be and have your own way of responding. There is a comfort zone to that, and you don’t have to take the risk of doing something different. Your opinion of yourself, what you want, and what you deserve don’t have to change. And endings can cause grief, sadness, regret, or feelings of failure.

Are there other ways to react to beginnings and endings?

I’ve experienced some significant changes in the last few months. While there have been times of sadness over what was but is not anymore, my predominant responses have been appreciation for what was, relief that necessary endings are complete, and curiosity and excitement about all the new things that will be unfolding. There are so many possibilities! And it’s up to me to decide how to navigate those.

Create supportive beliefs.

Whenever I work with people, the leading question is “What would you rather experience?”  Sometimes people need a little help getting their subconscious to support their conscious goals. This could include neutralizing the fear or creating a belief about their ability to successfully navigate change – and maybe even enjoy it! If this sounds like something that might be helpful to you, schedule a call here – we can talk about it.