Stress and Shifting Boundaries

Recently, in a group I meet with weekly, we discussed our life journeys. We looked at stress and shifting boundaries. I realized that who I was as a young adult is so far from who I am today. I have so much less stress in my life now! In my twenties, I didn’t take the time to figure out who I was or what long-term goals I wanted to achieve. I made time to do that after my first marriage ended, and at that time, it startled me that I’d never done that before. I had job-related stress because I was never sure I was living up to everyone else’s expectations. Relationship stress resulted from me not defining who I was or what I was looking for.

Transitions and Boundaries

As my second marriage was ending, I realized I hadn’t placed enough value on myself, and because of that, my boundaries weren’t healthy in my personal and professional relationships. This lack of self-worth created situations that also caused stress. I spent time looking at the patterns and analyzing where they came from. By this time, I knew how to change subconscious beliefs, and I was able to rewrite these to raise my self-esteem and to establish more balanced boundaries.

I highly recommend taking the time to reflect and see where you’ve come from. Recognize your successes and accomplishments, and be grateful for the growth opportunities you’ve received. We’ve all risen to challenges, but we rarely congratulate ourselves on those. We tend to move on to what we need to do next. And each of us has learned a few lessons along the way as well. We generally use those situations to berate ourselves instead of valuing what we learned. But how does anyone grow without having some failures along the way? I know my most significant growth came from analyzing where things went wrong and making changes going forward.

Why Boundaries Can Be Weak

If you’re like me, it might take a while to get back into who you were as a young adult – it may seem so long ago and different from who you have become. I am sure my younger self would have argued with anyone who might have suggested that I needed to go deeper and figure out what I wanted or that my boundaries were weak. I didn’t realize these were true until I looked at what had happened in my life. And I didn’t equate my stress levels with root causes. But eventually, I started doing the conscious work to make changes, and later once I had the tools, I also did the subconscious work.

Schedule a Time to Change

We all deserve to recognize and celebrate our accomplishments and strengths. If there are things causing stress in your life that you can’t resolve on your own, there may be subconscious beliefs contributing to that stress. I can help with those. You can book a session here.